It is such an unimaginable thing for me to crave SIMPLICITY. For years I saw myself climbing that corporate ladder just to attach a title to my name. I knew if I continued to climb the rungs of that ladder that I'd prove myself. To who I don't know, but I'd be proving nonetheless. A need to satisfy the appetite of my type A personlity. I spent many a night worrying about the next day and trying to resolve problems before they even materialzed. "Proactive not Reactive" was my motto. Anticipate the next move, be ready and have the answer before anyone else.
TOAST...that is what I was by the time I turned 34. BLACKENED and CRISPY! No matter how successful I was, I dreamed of living like Laura Ingalls in Walnut Grove. The more time I spent on our farm, the harder it was to deny this inner longing to have the "simple life". To sit on my porch, sip coffee with my husband and check off bird species that landed on our feeder.
I remember one time at work I was discussing my weekend with a coworker. I took great satisfaction in painting a mental picutre of the wonderful, yet insignificant tales of our critters and their weekend antics. I talked about porch sitting, gathering eggs, and the excitement of spotting a bird on our feeder we had never seen before. I'll never forget her words to me..."You really need to get a life".
I remember at that moment thinking I don't need to get a life, I finally have a life that I love. I believe it was that conversation that opened my eyes to how much we miss when we try to keep up with everyone else. We ignore that authentic person inside of us that is buried under wants that have nothing to do with nuturing our authenticity. We ignore that "little voice" that is an indicator of who we truly are.
We resign to ignore that voice. We go back to weekly grind and give a performance even Scarlet Ohara herself would initiate a standing O for. We say we'll worry about it tomorrow. Tomorrow turns into next week and next week into next year. Before we know it, we have ignored that voice until we lose our authenticity all together.
I'm trying to listen more to my inner RED GATE GAL. I love the farm and gain such strength from it. It's peace pulls me. It is my escape and the one place I know I can be 100% me. I hope that this year you will listen to your voice. Don't spend one more minute muffling your dreams and hopes. Each minute of the day is precious. When you hear your voice calling....for goodness sake...pick up the phone and answer it!